Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Currently

I am listening to:  Xander.  He talks a lot when he plays.  He takes on the roles of all of the super heroes and the villains.  I love listening to him.




I am eating/drinking:  Sun Drop.  I can't stop.

I am wearing:  Leggings as pants (but I'm not leaving the house!) and an old t-shirt from Tar Baby's Pancakes in Cherry Grove, SC that I've had for . . . over 15 years?  Maybe 20.

I am feeling:  A little crazy, to be honest.  Without going into a ton of details that you totally don't care about, my hormones have been a mess since the twins were born (yes, nearly 2 years ago), and I'm trying to get it under control.  But in the meantime, it's kind of a whirlwind of feeling sad, angry, overwhelmed, and confused (as to what the heck is wrong with me) at any given moment.  I actually cried through the last half of The Walking Dead this week, if that tells you anything.

I know, Daryl.  I know.

I am wanting:  Warm weather (for good!), a quilt for our bed, a maid, and a personal chef.

I am needing:  To clean.  *sigh*


I am thinking:  About how in the world to get Piper to stop risking her life every 10 seconds.  I mean - it's kind of funny and and cute in a sitcom way sometimes.  Like if she pulls the dirt out of the plant - you shake your head and smile and say, "Oh, she's a mess!"  But then in real life, when you can't even use the bathroom or stir a pot or change Paxton's diaper without her sliding through the banister, climbing the stairs in record speed, going in the craft room and turning on your sewing machine and almost sewing through her fingers; or her climbing up on the changing table and pushing on the 80-year-old window that could easily give way and send her falling 3 stories in a heartbeat - and she does it ALL day long - it's just terrifying and maddening at the same time.  I don't have the solution yet.

Caught!  (Ignore the mess, please.  I'm trying to transition to spring clothes but the weather isn't cooperating, so I have all seasons out - and they're everywhere.)

I am enjoying:  All of this craziness.  Okay, maybe not the crazy emotions.  But mixed in with the hard stuff are these awesome moments of Paxton recognizing and saying "yellow" for the first time or Piper sharing without being asked or Xander writing out his alphabet with no help and - to be super cliche and cheesy - it's worth it.  I hate to wrap all of this up in a neat little message a la "Full House" here, but I do always come back to how this "job" I have now is so tiring and so stressful and I'm never alone (yet simultaneously lonely) and it seems overwhelming at times - but it really is amazing.  It's growing me and teaching me to rely on God and just be thankful for and enjoy everything I have.  Because I do have so much.


*cue cheesy "wrap-up" music*

Annnnnnd - done.  End credits.

2 comments:

  1. Megan.. Can I just say how I love your honesty and I just want to give you a big hug right now (so considered yourself hugged). I have been there with the whole hormone thing! Went through that after the miscarriages. I remember on so many occasions saying, "what in the world is wrong with me!".... I even remember thinking, "I don't even know who I am anymore." sniff, sniff.. LOL.. (you can even ask Jacob, bless his heart for even putting up with me - even now) Hang in there, my friend, I do believe it gets better. :) Children are a blessing and you do learn SO much about life and yourself. Hopefully we can catch up soon... I love you and if you need anything, please let me know. ash

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